And did you get what you want?

We all long for it. You want to be close. You love him. You really want this relationship to work. You want to be known and to matter to him and finally find a refuge, a safe place in this world. Even when its hard and even sometimes hopeless, we want that feeling of refuge,…

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Your Life is not a package tour…

The temple bell stops– but the sound keeps coming out of the flowers. Basho Have you noticed when on social media like Facebook, Pinterest or others, how so many people post beautiful and tender things and we are touched by it? There are the flash mob videos where we are stunned by the unexpected beauty of…

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The heart of longing…

And we are put on this earth a little space, that we might learn to bear the beams of love.  Wm Blake If you look quietly inside, you might sense the desire for love right now in this moment. Can you see how that desire manifests itself in us as a desire for relationship, for…

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Divorce is a pilgrimage

“For though we stubbornly cling, believing in our moment of hunger that there is no other possibility of love, we only have to let go of what we want so badly and our life will unfold. For love is everywhere.”  Mark Nepo To move into a beautiful life there can be many transformative bridges to cross. For some it…

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Stop lying to yourself.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The…

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Be Still

What does it take to be an authentic person? You need to know who you are so that you can know what you believe and where you stand. This is not easy especially given that in any small space in our busy life, we take out our cell phone to check messages. What happened to…

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To decide to be happy is no simple thing…

It sounds simplistic to say “Decide to be happy”. It sounds like some new age, just be positive, just do it kind of philosophy for life.  It’s not though. It’s dead serious to decide to be happy. In a different way it might be more accurate to say that one can decide to be resilient.…

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On the bottom of the lake and what to do about it…

After two really hard years of grief, ( my husband left to be with his girlfriend the same week my mother died),  I was so angry that I became very difficult to be around. The only person I really could tolerate was my little dog, Bessie. Grief is funny that way, getting lost in it…

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Life is not the cause of our unhappiness…

Life is not the cause of problems and unhappiness.  It is the commotion the mind makes about life that keeps us unhappy. Shakespeare said it best: “Nothing is either bad nor good but thinking makes it so”. When we look at life directly without our stories, it becomes simpler. I recall one day in particular in…

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Come back to yourself

Do you have the courage to be yourself? Astonishing the freedom of being truly yourself  brings. I had a terrible two years. My husband left me and my mother died the same week.He left after a long time of struggling. He wanted to leave and was denigrating me to get up his courage. After this…

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