Divorce is a pilgrimage

by Judith F Kennedy, PhD

“For though we stubbornly cling, believing in our moment of hunger that there is no other possibility of love, we only have to let go of what we want so badly and our life will unfold. For love is everywhere.”  Mark Nepo

To move into a beautiful life there can be many transformative bridges to cross. For some it is going through the process of divorce.To journey as pilgrims across the plains of divorce takes strength, courage and resolve, just like a kite flying on the air tethered only to a slight string,it finds its invisible purchase in the air and rises.                                     You will do the same.                                 

Divorce can feel like a public humiliation. You feel it when you try to give an explanation to friends or colleagues-you don’t want to sound bitter, so you put on a brave faceand say things like, “It’s getting better,” or “I am so much better off without him/her.” All the while, you know it sounds a bit hollow. You look hard for the path throughall this: the one where you don’t have to qualify or things away, the one in which you feel whole and have your dignity. Know that you will find it. Just like you, countlessothers have walked this path and gone on to build a better more beautiful life.

Some people talk about surviving divorce. You can have much more than survival you can create a beautiful and meaningful life.

The answer to transcending this difficulty and building a new life isn’t out there. It isn’t in that new relationship you are waiting for. It isn’t in that new location, new job,or new home. It’s in you. There is a resting place in your heart and soul. There is a deep exhale waiting to happen. You can believe it. If you let this process of transformation touch you and teach you, you will relax, you will find your solid ground. You will feel safe. It is here, waiting for you. All the while you have been worrying, looking, and it’s been right there within you…Waiting.