Steady on

by Judith F Kennedy, PhD

Resiliency is yours, if you claim it.

Even though It keeps going, the uncertainty, the confusion, the relentless nature of this virus and the disruption all around, you can do this.

As you may be feeling now, at some point enough is enough. Its time to make your own ground, a steadiness that is your own. Take a moment, get your bearings. Remember the best rules, the ones you have always known. Come back to yourself, be practical, put your oxygen mask on first, don’t listen to the dark chatter in your head or from other people or media. Stand up.

First, draw close to good people. You know who they are and you know who you should not be listening to. Who will you choose to spend time with? Not only personally but who do you give your media attention to? This wisdom is more important now than ever.

Second, listen and read good articles, stories, teaching and wisdom. Make it a point to do this. Pay attention to what leads to clarity and a strong heart. Stop following what doesn’t serve you.

Set aside some time for wise reflection, allow your inner creativity and excitement to lead you. What nourishes you, what have you been neglecting in your own mind and heart that brings you more alive?

Create a practice. Find beauty. Perhaps its taking a walk every morning or evening, perhaps its meditating, perhaps its listening to beautiful music. Set aside time everyday to bring beauty into your life. Remember its beauty that we want not beautiful things.

I know from my own and others research that a resilient or psychologically hardy person has three very important trait:

They have an inner sense of control called inner locus of control. Its the difference when one child tells his parents “I got a bad grade because the teacher didn’t like me” or the other who takes responsibility for his/her own actions.

A psychologically hardy person is committed to something. It could be to nature, God, family, something outside of self. This comes out of research on alienation primarily from studies of the holocaust. Who are the people who can withstand almost unbearable tragedy?

A resilient person is able to see challenges as a chance to learn and grow. Even though difficult, he or she is able to create a narrative that sees an opportunity for self growth.

Inner control, commitment, choice and beauty.

Its up to you.